Restless

Lately I've been having some ups and downs. I have been to see a dietitian and had a blood test yesterday. I have a huge phobia of needles and blood so the combo was not something I looked forward to. Luckily, I got it done at a Children's Hospital and it didn't hurt a lot because of the small needles they use. I just clamped my eyes shut and turned my head towards the wall while a girl held my arm down. I got it done and over with though and that is the most important thing.

My appointment with the dietitian was long but the girl is very nice. I spent an hour answering her routine questions. She told me to try and get an extra starch (grain or sweet potato) at lunch time and include an evening snack. I am trying but I also feel like I am just eating mindlessly possibly because I have nothing else to do. My doctor told me to try to get up to 2500 calories. That is insane. I was aiming for that when I did 2 hours of exercise 6 days a week! Now I am literally doing nothing. I watch television, eat, read, and sleep. I occasionally do some crafts and wash dishes but nothing much else.

I feel like I am loosing motivation. I am bored out of my mind! I just want to do things again - take my life back. I want to go to the gym to workout, take walks, go horseback riding, do yoga... all these things I love. I want to take acting classes and try to get involved in my community! It's just so frustrating. I really am fed up with bed rest. I don't know how much longer I can take it to be honest.

I am going to try and get my headshots, resumes, and cover letters printed this week so I can send my packages out to agencies and casting directors. No more stalling! I have been doing a little bit of work each day from my acting course I bought. I'm in the process of creating a solid step-by-step plan. A little each day. I will have to go to my cousin's house or something for printing since my printer is still in my apartment in the city...

Well, there you have it. I'm on a roller coaster of emotions, and I seriously wouldn't mind getting off for a while. Let's hope the restraints don't break and send me flying.